This Is The Eggplant Club

As I continued to delve deeper, I knew I was getting close. The air was so hot that the walls appeared to shimmer in front of me. I heard the flutter of leather wings behind me, and turned around quickly to investigate. A bat was hanging from the ceiling, purple and swollen, but it seemed to be asleep - just adjusting as it hanged there. I continued on my way, cautiously, every step a deliberate one, to make sure not to fall in any of the lava pits dotted around everywhere. Why are there so many? How is this reasonable design? Clearly an architect had gone insane, probably from the heat. I made a note to contact the builder's guild when I got out of this place.

I entered another door - it felt like I'd gone through 22 of them by now. Looking down, I saw lava all around me - someone clearly had a fetish. To my left was a ...creature... with the face of an ox. I looked to my right and saw another creature, with the head of a horse. What had happened to these people? What twisted entity had performed this disturbing surgery, to disfigure so badly what I could only assume had once been men? Or had they somehow been born this way, with faces even a mother would slap?

I ran past the blue one, dodging to the side as he (was it a he?) jumped at me. I stumbled slightly, but regained my footing safely, in time to jump up and grab an inexplicably hanging chain. I scrambled upwards, jumping to another chain to narrowly avoid something falling from the sky. Were those skulls? They might have been, but I wasn't able to see them clearly. I gritted my teeth and continued my climb.

I finally reached the top of the chain, but I still wasn't high enough. I looked down to see just how high I was - that was a mistake. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and looked for a way to continue. Yama was right there - I was so close! I started to lose hope, but then I saw it: a catch for my grapnel. I threw up a rope, and continued to climb.

I made my way to the top of my rope, my muscles burning from the effort. I looked to my left, directly at Yama's throne. Holy crap he was big. Who makes a person that big? Or was I just small all this time, and nobody told me? Seriously, what the hell? He slammed his hands down, shaking more skulls loose from the ceiling, and I took my shot, cementing my place in history.

We are the proud few - the elite. We are the ones who have taken on the ultimate challenge, and come out clean on the other side. We are the survivors.

We are the ones who threw a fruit at the lord of the underworld.